What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

What should I do? I'm 17 and I'm dating a 23-year-old guy.

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

Have you ever had sex with your female cousin? How did it start?

What do you mean son?

Do you know what she said mum?

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

What are some signs that someone may be being stalked by an organization or secret society? How can they find out for sure?

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

Have you made a female relative or friend squirt?

What! how could you do that?

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

What is a good investment portfolio for someone starting in their 20s? 90% VT and 10% BND for a Roth IRA then 100% TDF for a 401k?

True - how I loved my mum!